Friday 22 March 2013

My best friend's wedding

I mentioned in my boarding school post that I had three very close friends during these years. Two of them got married years ago (one while she was still a student), and the third has remained unattached until very recently. She's had a few boyfriends over the years, but I never really clicked with any of them, until last summer she brought her latest partner over to New York and we met up. They had already moved in together, and immediately I could tell that they were right for each other, so it was no great surprise to hear, a few weeks ago, that they are getting married.

One of the real downers about living abroad is that you have to miss out on occasions such as this. I really can't fly back to the UK in May - we're moving back in July and shelling out for another flight, when we're in the middle of trying to move, is just unrealistic and unaffordable this year. So I won't be there to see this girl I've known for over 25 years tie the knot. While I wouldn't say we are still "best friends", we still met up regularly while in London and there will always be a special understanding between us.

Since I've been in the US, I've missed out on several 40th birthday parties and at least two other weddings. Several friends have also had babies who I have yet to see. While of course this isn't the end of the world, I do feel that this is the stuff of which memory is made: those moments and milestones won't happen again. Seeing the photos on Facebook just doesn't quite cut it.

So on the May bank holiday I will be wishing I was a virtual guest at my friend's wedding in Warwickshire. She's also one of the last of my friends to get married, so in a way it feels like the closing of a chapter; the wedding years. Getting glammed up and dancing the night away before stumbling back to some B&B and trying to find the key. Drinking too much champagne in country churchyards, Oxford colleges and formal gardens; all those typically English weddings we've been to. The one in Norway where we all jumped in the fjord at midnight (that really happened). The one in Devon where the marquee nearly blew away in the wind. The ones we took the children to as babies, fearfully shushing them in the church.

I just hope I get to go to some more before the next generation start getting hitched....

10 comments:

Expat mum said...

Up until last year, I had missed every single one of my cousins' weddings, which devastated me. It wasn't so much the expense (we have a lot of air miles), but just the sheer impossibility of leaving three kids to cross the Pond. (Pulling them out of school wasn't an option either.)
I also missed most of my friends' key note birthdays; one of them by ONE day last year.

Iota said...

Go! Throw caution and expense to the wind and go! You need a treat and something to look forward to.

Anonymous said...

Go alone just for a couple of days. My mum and brother flew out to see me from the UK to California for a weekend, once.

Elaine

Nota Bene said...

Your weddings sound very Hugh Grant!

About Last Weekend said...

They do sound very Hugh Grant and now I wish I'd been invited! I just missed one of my best friends' 50th in New Zealand, sadly they are not facebookers or even photo takers so I can't even pour over all the dancing and drinking photos.

angelsandurchinsblog said...

I don't know, I'm almost looking forward to the next generation's weddings, if only so I can embarrass my godchildren with my dancing!

Anonymous said...

It is a shame that you feel you are missing out. Maybe she can send you a DVD of the wedding - they are usually recorded.

CJ x

Anonymous said...

Missing weddings is one of the worst. I am coming back for my best friend's wedding in April. But that means I can't return for another v good friend's nuptials in June. Sod's Law. Raise a glass to them on the evening though!

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Distance is a big factor that friends should consider when some important happen in their life.

Anonymous said...

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